Tag Archives: black holes

Poem for Critique 006: ‘Darkness before dawn’ by Rashmi Raj

Welcome to Morgen’s Online Poetry Writing Group and the sixth poem submitted to this blog for your feedback.

This piece is by Rashmi Raj (format as submitted).

Please do comment in the section below telling us what you liked about this poem and, what if anything, the author could do to improve upon it. Thank you – it’s very much appreciated!

Darkness before dawn

dark sky cover 95908Just like the sun rises from the blanket of clouds running across the skies

The human era will have its dawn after oozes of blood

Lying on the parapet of destiny

Will vanish into the thinness of hope.

Dawn will come and so will the resultant Bambooza

Like the twist and turns of dancing girls

Reminding us of Mohenjo-Daro times when dawn meant the time of festivities.

Just as the skies get trapped with unwanted surface of endless burnouts

And universe reminding of unending, infinite black holes

Light too will dissipate to give us arrow and

Jet of goodness as humanity pervades all times.

Life is unending game of snooker and has its own darkness

God is the father of all and he throws at us different options like that of

Endless soccer ball which flies in the air only to caught  by one of the eleven players.

Darkness before dawn is testing time but times do change

And the time today is the purified version of time of yesteryears.

Life’s battle haunts and   as player is dead the new one rises form its ashes

Suggesting continuity and calmness of creation of universe.

Darkness before dawn is never ending phenomenon which we shall be glad

To witness front the carcass of last forgotten times.


© Rashmi Raj, Pune, India.

Thank you, Rashmi. 

Please do comment below (then you can read my feedback below and see if we agree):

Rashmi is an energetic and enthusiastic writer from India. She writes mostly on nature and human emotions and says she likes to study the different philosophies of the world and that her writings often reflect that. Rashmi’s blog is www.basicsnapshotview.blogspot.in and she would love to interact with readers of her poem.


If you’d like to submit your poem (50 lines max) for feedback on this blog see Submissions and / for consideration for the weekly Post-weekend Poetry slot on my main blog, take a look here.

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My online writing blog / Facebook groups are:

Morgen’s Online Non-Fiction Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Novel Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Poetry Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Script Writing Group

Thank you for reading this and we look forward to your comments.