Poem 001: His Mac by Ina Schroders-Zeeders

ina 25 april 2012Welcome to Morgen’s Online Poetry Writing Group and the first poem on this blog! This piece is a triolet by Ina Schroders-Zeeders.

His Mac

Between a winter jack and a nylon furry coat
his Mac is hanging there, as if he might return,
as if he isn’t dead at all. His scent is still afloat
between a winter jack and a nylon furry coat,
his boots – with all the dirt still from the road
attached, not cleaned – are nobody’s concern.
His Mac is hanging there, as if he might return,
as if he isn’t dead at all. His scent is still afloat.

***

Thank you for being my first submission, Ina. I loved it… and learned what a triolet is. 🙂

Veritas-Cover-3D-807x1024Ina is a Dutch novelist and author of the English poetry book “Veritas” published in 2012 by Winter Goose Publishing in California.

She has written about 700 poems since Autumn 2010. One of them has been published in “The Journal” a British poetry magazine, others have been published in anthologies and on her weblog http://inaweblogisback.wordpress.com.

Ina lives on the island of Terschelling.

***

Please do comment in the section below telling us what you liked about this poem and, what if anything, the author could do to improve upon it. Thank you, it’s very much appreciated!

If you’d like to submit your poem (50 lines max) and / for consideration for the weekly Post-weekend Poetry slot on my main blog, take a look here.

***

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11 responses to “Poem 001: His Mac by Ina Schroders-Zeeders

  1. A very fine triolet, one that will remain in my mind long after reading it. The emotional impact comes across splendidly!

  2. Ina is a wonderful poet and I have been following her work on her blog for some time now and have her poetry anthology Veritas. I have always loved her ability to observe the ordinary and create something moving or witty – often both within the same piece. Her lyrical, metaphorical and narrative use of English is so impressive considering it is not her native language.

  3. There’s nothing quite like a hat to capture the scent of a person. Hats and boots are very personal things, they absorb a person’s essence and hold it- even after they are cast off, for whatever reason. I like the personification of the objects in this poem, as if they are waiting for their owner, not unlike a faithful pet.

  4. Lovely to see you here, Mary. Thank you for your comment. I’ve passed it on to Ina. I love it when inanimate objects have a life; last year I had to write a story from the pov of a tree – it was fun.

  5. Salvatore, Diane, Morgen and Mary, Thank you very much for these encouraging comments! As it happens, my father died 20 years today and I made this, a sort of sequel:

    Button

    The day after you died,
    the house still in awe,
    a button fell off
    of your best jacket
    that hung, forlorn,
    as if waiting for you,
    over a kitchen chair
    like you could enter
    the door any minute.

    The sound the button made
    was too loud for its size
    or importance as item,
    when it slowly rolled,
    halfway across the floor,
    then making a turn
    before it disappeared
    under the skirting,
    never to be seen again.

    I hope it os ok to post here. 🙂

  6. Ina, Button is fantastic! What an interesting idea to revisit a theme from a past poem. Again, great personification. The metaphor of the button falling and rolling away forever is very powerful. So much feeling here. Love it.

  7. His Mac was very poignant and powerful in a quiet way. I felt the quiet room. I saw the orderly closet and empathized with the woman observing it. And the dirty boots will walk away with me……..An excellent poem Ina.

  8. Thank you very much Pamela!

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